One step at a time

Around me people are often so unbelievably sure of themselves. Sure of their opinions, sure of their plans, sure of the way they do things. They plan a year ahead ánd manage to stick to their planning. Often I think I am kind of an alien. Because for me there is nearly always space for a different twist or turn.

No, I don't have doubts about going. No doubts at all that I want to be with my partner. But I do have doubts as part of life. Life is never straightforward, isn't it. This whole thing of rolling up my life and business here and going to Greece and starting something new overthere, it's getting more clear to me that it is a process, not something you do all in once.

But right now I do long for more certainties than I have. People keep asking me: "And? Getting ready to go? When will you leave? Packing up your things?" And I go: "Noooooo I am not ready at all! not even close to it!"

I am working my butt off, to make as much money as I can these last months. No I haven't started packing yet, not really. No, I don't know yet when I will leave exactly. I don't know which car I will drive, how many of my things I manage to take the first time, how much money I will have saved.... I don't know yet so many things!

BUT, gradually my plans take on some sort of shape. What to do first this summer. When to come back to pack more of my things. How to go about ending my business in the Netherlands. Digital plans have priority now over sorting and packing stuff.

So I am busy writing content for my new website. And I need a new logo. And new business cards. And new labels for my Crazy Creations. (I am so grateful for the help with all that of K!)

Also the situation in the house here seems to shift suddenly. One of my boys found unexpectedly an affordable apartment for his girlfriend and him. That changes the situation for the rest of us. A shift in plans again.....

Oh my poor brains. They are packed with data and stretched to the max in flexibility: 

plans ideas worries work related thoughts songs musicals workshop ideas agenda keeping appointments panic details more songs more preparations community art solutions to problems what to do with these and what to do with those telephone calls still have to answer those mails news from son in Greece worries manifesto for my new website what to write do-not-forget-to shopping lists money problems daily household things oh yes I should clean this where did I put what yarn to use for that oh yes let me make another .......

So right now I am grateful for not having to prepare lessons, for these two weeks without lessons at schools. 

I remembered I had an unwashed sheep (well, its wool actually) hidden in my bookcase. And I decided to process it now. A bucket of wool every day. 


Washing, rinsing, drying, opening it to get rid of small dirts and straws, seeing the dirty yellowish wool transform into white fluffy stuff. Just my hands handling it. There I find certainty. In this process of clearly set out steps. You start with A and B follows; then the next step and the next.

Just like life. Just like big changes. They are done with small steps. Not always so clear where they head. But one step at a time. Just keep going!